Funny how some people have such unrealistic expectations of their doctors! Here is a list of some of the things your doctor simply cannot do for you:

  • Tell you what you feel. This is your job. Your doctor simply cannot read your mind – she does not know that your stomach pain is on the left side, that your chest pain began when you were running, that you have daily headaches – unless you tell her. So, please, tell your doctor everything you can about your symptoms – give the poor woman a chance to do her job, which is to help you feel better.
  • Make a good diagnosis without examining you. At least, not usually – though sometimes the description of symptoms makes the diagnosis clear. Most diagnoses are suspected, based on the patient’s description of the symptoms (see above), and confirmed by finding certain features on careful examination. Some of these examinations may be embarrassing (it’s no fun to lie on your back, with your nether regions exposed, while the doc prods and feels about – we know!) and uncomfortable, but they are necessary. If you’re uncomfortable with something, say so. Just please understand that examination is almost invariably necessary when trying to come to a sensible diagnosis.
  • Make decisions for you. The best doctors advise their patients and then leave the decision-making to them. Sure, many people follow the advice of their doctors, but it is not quite the same as having the doctor actually take the decision. This is important – think about it.
  • Follow the advice given. That, once again, is your job. It’s somewhat pointless going to the doc, having him advise you on a number of things (like stopping smoking), and then doing nothing. It’s your job to take decisions and act on them. Your doctor cannot do this for you. Remember too, that you are responsible for what you do, and what you don’t do.
  • Cure you instantaneously. Medicine just doesn’t work that way.
  • Deal with more than one thing at a time. Nobody can. It’s amazing how many people go to the doc with a litany of separate problems and are surprised when the doc starts to look confused and uncertain. Try to see the consultation as a discussion – it helps if there is only one topic.
  • Not charge you and avoid starving to death. Enough said.
  • Make you happy. Doctors can relieve symptoms and cure certain conditions, but happiness goes further than that. Your doc cannot get you a raise, teach your kids how to behave, help your spouse understand you better, change your childhood, or any such thing. Counselling sessions may help somewhat (or even quite a lot, especially if you are depressed), and can be very important. But each of us remains responsible for our own happiness. Don’t ask your doc to make you happy.

Make no mistake, doctors can – and do – help you with many, many, problems. But they can’t do everything and they can’t solve every problem. Keep this in mind next time you see yours.

Written by Dr Colin Burns