It’s not always easy to figure out what your roles are in a relationship. We forget that not everyone has had the same examples or has the same ideas about roles and responsibilities in a relationship. For many couples, families, clients, and colleagues, this can often result in conflict and discontent.

Relationship roles don’t have to be a source of conflict.

Once we understand what they are, why we need them and how to define and negotiate roles in our day-to-day relationships, we can increase our relationship satisfaction, intimacy, closeness, and comfort.

Renew your relationship … with yourself.

Many don’t realise it, but the relationship you have with your physical body and mind is very important. It won’t always be easy, but it is one of the most important relationships you will ever have. Believing in yourself can be hard at times, especially when things don’t go as planned, but it is during these times that you need your own love the most.
The wonderful thing about believing in yourself is that you are the only one responsible. You don’t need others’ stamps of approval before you can begin to have faith in yourself – you just need your own.

5 tips to help you love yourself:

  1. Eliminate self-criticism.
  2. Make daily positive affirmations.
  3. Forgive yourself.
  4. Boost your self-confidence.
  5. Make time to relax.

Make each day a day in which you continue to deepen your relationship with yourself. Ask yourself, ‘Do I love me?’.

… with your loved ones.
Successful long-term relationships with loved ones involve ongoing effort and compromise. Building healthy patterns in your relationships can establish a solid foundation for the long run.

3 tips to help build strong relationship foundations:

  1. Build.
    Build a foundation of appreciation and respect by focusing on all the considerate things your loved ones do. Happy families make a point of noticing even small opportunities to say ‘thank you’ to their loved ones.
  2. Explore.
    Explore one another’s interests and try new things together to expand mutual interests.
  3. Establish.
    Establish a pattern of apologising if you make a mistake or hurt your loved one’s feelings. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ may be hard in the moment, but it goes a long way towards healing a rift in a relationship.

… with your colleagues.
We spend a substantial portion of our time at work and around our colleagues, so it is important to have a good relationship with fellow co-workers.

One of the first ways to establish a good relationship with your colleagues is to show an interest in their lives and listen to them. Conversation that is simply ‘small talk’ to you can mean a lot to someone else who is shy or feels that their opinion isn’t taken into consideration often enough.

4 tips to help strengthen workplace relationships:

  1. Give.
    Give out compliments that you mean.
  2. Nurture.
    Nurture talent in others and encourage them to make use of their skills.
  3. Eliminate.
    Eliminate negative thoughts and focus on projecting happy and positive emotions.
  4. Help.
    Help foster creativity by empowering other people and avoid being too critical.

Be aware of your body language. Your body language sends a strong message to others, so be aware that if you have your arms folded across your chest while you talk, you may be shutting others out.

Coping with conflict

For the average employee, stress simply comes with the job. No matter how hard you try to avoid it, you will experience all kinds of stress.
When it feels like demands or requests are coming at you from all sides, try the following tips to keep the stress under control:

  • Breathe
    Try taking a deep breath, and then releasing it twice as slowly as you inhaled. Carry a stress ball or an object that you can squeeze when times get tough. Physically squeezing something is an effective way to release your tension.
  • Remember you are not alone
    Your colleagues are also experiencing stress. Use all resources available to you. Many companies provide free counselling services. If your company doesn’t, find out whether your community centre runs free stress workshops or consult an independent counsellor. Use the library or the Internet to find self-help books or articles.
  • Get some perspective
    Learn to keep things in perspective. When you feel stress coming on, ask yourself if you will really care about the issue you are stressing about a year from now. Taking situations a little more lightly and cutting yourself some slack will ease your stress level and alleviate the amount of pressure you place on your shoulders.
  • Choose your focus
    Examine your work environment. Focus on and change things that you are able to change, and accept the things you can’t change. You might not be able to control what is happening around you, but you can control your attitude. Decide to be positive and optimistic.
  • Take care of yourself
    Exercise, follow a healthy diet, and get enough rest. Meditate, keep a journal, and find time to unwind by doing something that pleases or calms you. Buy yourself a gift or book a massage. Enjoy your hobbies. These might seem very basic, but you would be surprised to learn how these small things improve your quality of life.
  • Avoid crutches
    When you’re stressed out, you’ll want to avoid caffeine, chocolate, and alcohol – they are easy to reach for, but only increase your stress levels.
  • Seek social support
    Build a good support system – talk to friends and family about your feelings and concerns. Speak to someone who can offer objective support and guidance. Talk to your colleagues/manager about how the stress affects you.

Remember when it gets to be too much for you to handle, just sit back and take a deep breath and try to tackle one task at a time. Panicking will only stress you out further and you’ll get even less done!

Written by LifeAssist