Nobody is born knowing how to have sex. At least not how to have sex well (enjoyably and safely). This is important – just think about it for a moment. It means that sex education is essential and the truth is that few parents handle this well – most teenagers learn about sex from friends, the Internet, movies, etc. The quality of some of this is at best questionable or at least unrealistic (movie sex is always perfect & beautiful, never messy, never clumsy, never rushed, etc.). There is a common notion that we are supposed to “just know” but this is a cruel and dangerous lie. So if you feel unsure about some aspects of sex you should not feel alone and you should seek out quality information (you might try your doctor, our ask-the-coach service, or maybe Wikipedia as places to start).
Sex is about choices. To have sex or not to. With whom. When and where. How. And more. There is a lot to be said in this area but two aspects are especially important:
No means no. At any stage and in any circumstance. It does not matter what you are wearing (or not wearing), how you behave, what you have said or promised, etc. It is everyone’s right to say no and to have their wish respected. If you feel unsure, say no. If your hear “no”, stop.
There is no ONE way. Sexual preferences vary, including sexual orientation (men with women, men with men, women with women, etc.) and other aspects of sexual behaviour. If we could all be a little more tolerant and accepting of this diversity (assuming nobody is being hurt or abused) it would make life a lot easier for many people.
Here are two little but important ideas that might just help you in this important life-area. Think about it…
Colin was a medical practitioner (GP) from 1988 to 2000. Since then he has worked in the wellness field, designing, developing and delivering various products and services. Out of clinical practice for many years now he no longer practices medicine formally but retains a keen interest in helping people become more-well versions of themselves. He acts as a wellness coach and not as a medical practitioner today.
Colin's approach and philosophy is based on empowerment: the notion that people only need a little help to make choices they usually already want to anyway - it's about respect and support rather than instruction or correction.
Colin lives at the Vaal Dam with his wife Cathy. He spends time walking mountains, cycling, motorbike riding, kayaking, sailing and always looking for better & better balance.