Would you ever, in good conscience, tell someone they’re worthless, and should just give up now? Of course not. So why do you speak to yourself that way?

The way you talk to yourself can have a big impact on your life. It can build you up – and break you down just as easily, which will affect your decision-making, your self-esteem, and your mental health in general.

Where does negative self-talk come from?

It stands to reason that, if you grew up in a household where you had mostly negative or judgmental feedback, you’d perpetuate this when talking to yourself. The same applies to your environment in general, your friends and peers, past experiences and certain cognitive biases.

How to course-correct

Journal your thoughts

Many people don’t even realise that they’re engaging in negative self-talk – they’re so used to it. Writing down what you’re thinking helps to make it more measurable, and enables you to pick up patterns. Examine negative thoughts and reframe them when they’re not based on the truth.

Be kind to yourself

Write down 10 positive things about yourself and say them out loud, in front of the mirror. Repeat this in a few days, and try to find new things to be positive about. If you see areas that can use some growth, work on those and, in a few weeks, return to them, and give yourself positive feedback. This may take practice, and you may need to keep it up for a while before you start to see results, but it’ll be worth it.

Connect with people who’ll lift you up

We’re a little like coals: we burn brighter, for longer, when we share the heat. If you want to be more positive and forward-thinking, you need to surround yourself with people who are positive and forward-thinking.

Seek professional help, if necessary

From time to time, we all need a little help. If you’re struggling to get out of a negative pattern, you don’t have to do it on your own.

Bottom line

We’re all the sum of our life experiences, and these may not always be kind. But you get to decide what your inner voice sounds like, and if you want that to change, it’s absolutely possible to make it happen.

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Written by LifeAssist