“Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems” – Epictetus

I firmly believe that we can master stress and anxiety if we adopt good habits that work for us. Poor physical and psychological health habits could be pulling us down and standing between us and being the best that we can possibly be. The irony is that we almost always know what our bad habits are, but we typically don’t ditch them owing to a lack of discipline or willpower. The same goes for living with good habits that will enable us to improve our lives.

“We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.” – John Dryden

What works for you?

The important question to answer is: “What works for you to reduce stress and anxiety?” Ultimately, you know yourself better than anyone. For a start, I would suggest that you list these things. Then, upon frequent reflection, at least weekly, check how you are doing against actively pursuing these things that charge your “life batteries”. Life is less complicated than what we make it – if we simply reflect more to track our progress towards these important things, we will not only ensure that we include it as part of our lives, but we will also be able to improve in the way that we deal with our stresses and anxieties.

Why routine matters

From personal experience, I can tell you that routine helps us to reinforce good habits. It makes us more efficient and provides us with structure for our daily activities. It is in our own best interests to create a routine that includes all of the important things that we would like to cover in our lives, especially those things that assist us in reducing our stress and dealing with our anxiety. Furthermore, having a good routine forms part of a healthy lifestyle.

“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.” – Mike Murdock

In taking all of the important things that I sometimes battle to perform and making them part of my routine, I also then tell myself not to accept any excuses from myself to not follow these routines. I “pre-negotiate” these routines, not only with myself, but also with my loved ones. They also know that following these good routines, will be good for me and them as a result.

You only have one body

If there is one thing with which we cannot mess around or neglect, it is our bodies. One of the most important habits that we could ever learn and live, is to look after it. Without this body, we can’t do anything. It’s not a car that we can trade in for another one after we have badly bumped, bruised and abused it. We only have one body, yet so many people don’t care about it.

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” – Jim Rohn

For too many years I committed deferred suicide by not following a healthy diet and not exercising enough. I simply expected my body to cope with what I threw at it, despite the fact that I had much healthier options available to me. What I also failed to realise was the positive connection between a healthy body and my emotional wellness. This includes finding the right exercise for me and sleeping enough. Fortunately, those days are over.

Intentionally stop worrying…

My mom used to say to me as a child: “If you worry, you die. If you don’t worry, you also die. So why worry?” She had very good intentions when she tried to use this to get me to worry less, which I appreciate. However, this does not really help… I would like to share with you something else that might be useful in successfully managing your stress and anxiety – In December 2022 when I took my annual leave, I reflected upon this and came up with the phrase: “Stop worrying about the things that I cannot change in that moment”. And if you really cannot stop worrying about something, then take charge and do something about it, like getting up from tossing and turning in your bed, and switching on your computer in your study to address the worrying issue! Let’s stop taking the fun out of our lives by stressing and getting anxious about things that we cannot change in that moment…

Written by Dr Hekkie van der Westhuizen