We all want to be more well. Physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, financially, spiritually, and in other ways. Most of us devote quite a lot of time to considering this and in trying to be well, or more well. Often, with limited success if we are honest. A look at the rising prevalence of overweight, sedentary living, mental health problems, stress, and more, makes it clear that many of us are struggling. It may be that some novel approaches might be helpful. One such approach is to know ourselves better.

The idea here is that many of us spend too little time “looking in the mirror” at our true selves. Honestly reflecting and thinking about ourselves and our lives. Considering priorities, challenges, ambitions, goals, and more. This may be driven, in part, by the pace of modern life (hectic) and by social media (with its focus on what we show others about ourselves). But it may also be a notion that has been valid since ancient times.

Perhaps we do spend too much time looking out and too little time looking in. We might do well to get to know ourselves, ourselves, more. Some areas you might want to consider:

  • Am I an introvert (like and even need time alone) or an extrovert (flourish and gain energy from company)?
  • What worries me the most in my life?
  • Why do I not exercise? In honesty, why?
  • What are my eating fails? The ones only I know about?
  • How hard am I really willing to work to gain promotions or wealth or recognition?
  • How much am I willing to sacrifice material success (money) for life balance?
  • Who do I envy or respect? Why?
  • Who I disrespect or dislike? Why?
  • Who are the most important people in my life?
  • Who are the people I spend most time with and or invest most energy in?
  • Am I a spiritual or religious person? How important is this in my life?

Take some time. Think about each of these questions. Really think. Maybe try writing down some answers or thoughts you have around these questions. One method that might help is to look at this list once a day. For a month. This will keep the questions in your consciousness. Whatever you do, do not rush. These are big serious questions. The answers may not be obvious. In fact, we think the mistake many of us make is that we are too quick to answer, and dismiss, these sorts of issues. We tend to assume that we know the answers, that we know ourselves. But often, we do not. Or we do not, fully. Or we have changed but not really noticed. Instead, we suggest spending some real time, lots of time, just thinking about these matters.

In all of this, we are not suggesting some form of narcissistic obsession with self at the expense of all others and all else. No. We just suggest a honest deep private look in the mirror.

Introspection and self-reflection can be over-done sometimes. But an honest, brutally honest, private consideration of self, can be one of the great secrets to a quality life. Try it.

Written by Dr Colin Burns