My dad used to say that the most important things in life money can’t buy. I tend to agree with him and would submit that building and maintaining healthy relationships, at work and away from work, definitely falls into this category. I also firmly believe that great leaders demonstrate a balance between valuing Relationships as much as they value Results…

It all starts with the basics…

The key to building and maintaining healthy relationships lies in taking charge of the way we lead ourselves concerning others. We must get the basics right in the way we engage with others, like simply looking them in the eye and greeting them, being friendly, putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes, saying “thank you”, wishing someone “happy birthday” and, when necessary, saying “I am sorry”.

A person that got “the basics of relationships” right, was Mother Teresa with her warmth, smile, humility, and how she stood up for what was right. But, above all, something else specifically stands out to me: Her love for people and how she cherished relationships. Her life epitomises the power of relationships and what is possible in this world if we value relationships. Our relationships are critical: Our relationship with the God we believe in, our partners, spouses, children, friends, family, colleagues and the people around us, and ultimately, probably the most important relationship – with ourselves.

Five key principles

We could expand on this list, but I believe if we could master the following key principles in our interactions with others, then chances are great that we would be successful in building and maintaining healthy relationships:

  • Respect – do I treat people, how I would like to be treated?
  • Sacrifice – am I willing to be unselfish and share some of my time and belongings with others?
  • Honesty – are you willing to tell the truth, even if it hurts?
  • Communication – do I communicate constructively?
  • Trust – am I trustworthy and can someone rely on my word?

Charity begins at home

Mother Teresa said: “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” The way we love our family, and how we support each other as family members, is a true testimony of who we are and of how much we value relationships. The value of having great relationships with everyone in our families can never, ever be overstated. Our influence goes beyond just spending quality time with our family members. Part of cherishing our relationships at home and caring for our loved ones is teaching them things about life: Issues like finances, changing a flat tyre, what to look out for when travelling, and how to do chores like ironing and cooking, to name just a few.

Those people you don’t know

Leo Buscaglia tells the story of how he once complimented a big, burly chef, and how the seemingly rude man then morphed into the most pleasant person within a couple of seconds. From his story, I have learned to compliment the chef whenever I get served an exceptional meal. I have done this in different parts of the world, and guess what? I always get the same pleasant response in the form of a big smile. Why? Because 99% of the time, the chef only receives moans or complaints from grumpy customers. To get a compliment, even that one percentage of the time, makes a massive difference in their lives. If someone deserves a compliment, then give it to them. It does wonders for them and you.

Complimenting the chef is just an example of how small things in relationships can make meaningful differences. When last did you give some of your time to people you don’t know or have donated blood or just simply acknowledged someone who needed it, like a poor person begging at a traffic light? You see, it’s easy to love those people who love us back, but what do we do to build relationships, even with those people who we don’t know?

“Building and repairing relationships are long-term investments.” – Stephen Covey

By Dr Hekkie van der Westhuizen