It has long been said that the first 5 or 6 years of life are really important. Many believe that these are the MOST important years in development, especially psychological development. Many believe that the future adult can be predicted or seen in the 6 year old child. This seems mainly-true, albeit with many exceptions and several caveats, and more. For now let us simply accept the notion that early development is important. What would we ideally want to see then, in a 6 year-old or starting-school child?

  1. Physical health. Height, weight, teeth, eyes, skin, etc. 6-year olds should be strong and active and energetic. Some may still need or at least benefit from a day-time nap and all should sleep well at night (10 hours or so). This mainly comes from genetics (you cannot change that) and good nutrition and active living.
  2. Sense of self. A 6 year old child should be aware of themselves and their place in the world. They should understand family structure and broader relationships with neighbours, friends, school, etc. The child should be confident of their place in things and their innate value as humans, without being entitled or arrogant. This comes mainly from love and encouragement.
  3. Children are naturally curious. They want answers. They ask a lot of questions. This is normal and valuable. Curiosity should really be encouraged and nurtured by taking questions seriously and offering answers always. This is an area where baby-talk is mainly to be discouraged. Honest and complete answers is the best approach.
  4. Knowledge and skills. This will vary between children, families, and cultures. Some children can already read at 6, while others cannot. Some speak more than one language, but most do not. Some have mastered basic arithmetic, but most can only count and perhaps do simple sums. The question of what is optimal is somewhat controversial: some maintain that young children’s brains are like sponges and should be maximally stimulated from a very early age. Others feel this is a bit excessive, overwhelming, and unbalanced. It is a matter for family choice really (what you think is best as parent). We suggest balance: encourage and offer learning always, but let the child be a child.
  5. A 6 year old should have some sense of right and wrong. Not fully developed of course but young children should know how to behave (even if they don’t always). This mainly comes from careful instruction and parenting that involves some boundaries and reasonable discipline.
  6. Kids have fun. They play. They run. They laugh. They get dirty. They get up to mischief. This is normal. This is healthy. And it mainly comes naturally in families who are balanced and happy overall. If your 6 year old is not having fun, please be concerned.

There are 6 things you might look for in a 6 year old child. The list is not complete but should give you something to think about around this important phase in a child’s life.

Written by Dr Colin Burns