There is a rhythm to life is there not? Of course we are not talking about music, dance, or any such – we are talking about how many of the cycles and patterns in life tend to repeat. A lot of this is driven by culture, region, geography, climate, etc. and so, quite naturally, the patterns vary around the world. In South Africa “year-end” is a big deal: the mix of peak summer, Christmas, school holidays, annual holiday habits (nearly everyone tries to take at least two weeks), new year, etc. all combine to create this “rush” towards year-end that we often start to experience from early spring-time (September). In the S’African mind, this can become a period of great haste, pressure, deadline-focus, and more, as we prepare for year-end and all that it brings. This is an established pattern that we have experienced for decades really. Much of this can be positive, constructive, productive and enjoyable even, but for some of us at least some of the time, this time of the year can be stressful, exhausting, excessive in many ways, and just overall a bit “too much”. So let’s look at a few aspects of all this, and offer some suggestions for new approaches that may be helpful…

  • To finish or not to finish. One of the things we regularly see as December approaches is the “I must get this finished by year-end” mind-set. Many of us like to “clear the In-tray” before any holiday and certainly before the year-end break. This can be a good thing (deadlines help) but it can also become excessive and more stressful than it need be. Unavoidable? Well, maybe not. If you look through your work and life in general you’ll discover that very few items need to be completed in a calendar year – many can just as easily be linked to January or March or May or other deadlines, driven by real business and or life needs rather than slavish adherence to a calendar-idea. If you pause to really consider this, in your personal and work life, we think you will discover opportunity to smooth-out your year, to spread the load more evenly over time. It can actually make your whole life (work, personal, family, social, etc.) better and smoother and altogether more manageable. And one other benefit may well be a reduced sense of panic as year-end approaches. It does take some careful thought so please, just think about this one.
  • We all love a chance to let the hair down, to rest, to socialise, to see family, to celebrate life. This is what holidays are for, no? Well, yes, fair enough, absolutely. But do we not see that sometimes we lose perspective and get “carried away”, with the results being sore heads, swollen livers, fatigue, stress, and more. Life is best lived with some moderation. Excess always comes at some cost. We do not want to be killjoys, taking all the fun out of your annual holiday, but we would, with great respect, suggest that a touch of moderation here and there (the food, the booze, the number of parties, the travelling, the busy-ness….) could really help. All of us.
  • Consider conflict. Year-end is a time for seeing family and friends. Great! But pause. It has not always been great, has it? Most of us go through some family or social conflict over this time. There are many and varied reasons for this but that’s beyond the scope of this article. Let’s just try to agree that families can be a mixed blessing and some conflict is common. In this regard it may be helpful to think of family as a blessing, yes, but also a set of people you did not choose and so it is “ok” and “normal” that there is conflict at times – your family does not have to be perfect and almost certainly isn’t (none are) and you’ll find that knowing this is truly liberating. What is important is to recognise this, to think about the most likely sources of conflict (who, when, where, why) and to make some plans to avoid or manage things better, always remembering that this is “ok” and “normal” stuff that people deal with. One other good idea you might try is to “head-off” year-end family tensions by tackling the key issues before, or after, the holiday – it’s rather like declaring the holiday a “truce-period” (but not ignoring issues that need discussion).
  • Make Q1 plans. Something we see, a lot, is a mind-set that seems to totally ignore the idea of work or tasks for the new-year. It’s as if we pretend that life just stops around mid-December, and we give no or very little thought to January and beyond. This is understandable but an error. Life is an ongoing journey and the various projects and tasks we undertake very rarely come to end neatly on December 31 each year. A practical and realistic approach of actively making plans for Q1 of the next year, in Q4 of the current year, is really surprisingly helpful. Life does not end every December. Life does not start from scratch each January. Most of us will be better-off seeing our lives as an ongoing journey rather than as a series of 12-month sprints-and-stops.

So there are some thoughts on how you might approach year-end more mindfully, more deliberately, and more effectively. These ideas may help you enjoy a smoother, more balanced and more moderate, and just happier, time of things as we ease towards another end-of-year.

Written by Dr Colin Burns